WArhummer 40K Second batle for earth
by Talos Angel
Summary: I am terribly sorry about this abomination. I got hammered last night, and I guess Microsoft Word was still open. I still have to leave this up for archival purposes.
1. Chapter 1

WARTHAMER 50K: TE SEVOND BATLE FOR EARTH

CAPTRE OME: SPASE LANDING

-On open a time there was the Bold ravens spade marines were they did winner a fight against bad guys like a guy namd Kyros and anoyer one naked Abodon. They ere celebarting they won by dinking beeer like Talso Angle, playing pin the dokey on the donk, and laffing at joke. THen Trakus got a ohone call from the eMERGENCY line. "Hell this si the blood ravins Tark speeding hear!" It was the caftworld Ultway saying there is an emergincy! "WAT?! ELFS! GO FUK YOU SHELVES TOU DUMB ASS!" but Cyris steel the phone before he could up. "Sorry Trakus hates elvis because they killed his wife in a bush." The elf on the otter side said that caos cake marines were going to try to destro plant earth.  
"Dam! Tark we got to get Gabe Angeloos and strip them!~" Cyrus sad so they went to taco to his. "That is god I will cum" Gabriel told them in his ofice so they got in the space suttle to fly to erth.

-meenwile in thw worp Eliphant was laufer at he has an evil pan. "Hahaha1 when the space marimes are in earth I will do a bad thing when no one is there to soap me!" His frend Sindri said "Yes and it is my plan to do tat." Becouse he thinked it up and told the plam to Eliphas. "We needle a crew to help us!" Elphias yells so he goes and tells bad peple like Fireass Caron, Gilfrod von Bagens, Psychiatriast Man, and Johnathan who was a dickfuck who was mean to Alice. They goty in a wagon and flied to planet earth for theplen.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAATTER TU: THEY STORK A BANK ROBERY!

Cypress, Gabe newell, and Avitus wet to panel earth in las vegas Witch was new captial city of the earth and they were there. "We need to spill up to lock for clues." Cyrus dead, so they went in tree directions. Tarkus went to rhe cassino, but burglers were stealing the money and stuff. "FREZA OR WILL SHOOT MOTHERFUKAS!" AND the burglars shat a guardman and ten of them died. "Oh no." Tarkus said so she cased the burglars out of the caseino and they runed acriss the street into a french restroom. The waters screamed "Haaaaa!" When the burglars holded their waiteres as sausages! "StOP RO WILL SHOOT TO KILL!" The burglar lacked evilly. "Stoop he is serious!" The manajerk told Tarkus, so he is frustrated at he canot safe the hostager!

Then the hotdog killed the burglar with a shurkien. "OWWW! FUCK YOU KILLED ME YOU WHORE!" The burgl; cried when he died.

Tarkus looked like the girl and she wat an elf farserr! "Dammit! Why elf?" Tarkus asked. "Because I need to warm you about the bag guys who will atack the earth." The farfseer told him. "Mommy who is this guy?" Asked a litle girl wo the farsser because she looks like an elf BHUT SHE HAS WITE HAIR AND EYES LIKE GABE! "Is thqat?! NOOOOOO!" Tarkus runned away loking for Gabriel for an explantation. "Wait I didn't danger yet!" Macha who was the soreseer said but tark lift.

Gabiel was in a stripe club wanking for clues, but TARkus runned in. "Gabe I saw an elf girl who looks tou and Macha?" "Yes." Gaber replied, "In DOW1 I have fucksex with the fatseer and she go preagnent but I we broke up before we won." "YOU BASTORD!" Tarkis cried, "How cold you!" Then Macha and her dauter named Merisa Angelos named after Talos Angil's sitster I stil love you why did you left me? They came the room and sand "The Squash art attacking!" Ten short beard guys tarted blowing the city with a bunck of tanks and fellatiocopters. "Spice Marines we must not allow permision!" Angel yells so they suit up for batle and drove the bloodmobile to batle.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPERT THEE: THE SQUITS!

-The squogs were blowing the sity up with bomb grenapes and fire and they said mean tings and they stole from store and pushed a kid down and make her cry. The quast wrer bein lead by a guy named Ward who was luffing! "Mahahahahaha22! I will destoy Las Vegan and steal the world!" He said like a bad guy. "GabeTarkus an Mecha and Marisa needed to stop this baldness now! "Stop destroy city you fuckwad!" The good gus told him. "NO! I WIL WIN!" He screame! He jumped off his nagic banblade and pull out too hammers. Gapriel hit Wardhead with a plassma hammer bolter, but it did noting. "Your attacks are week!" "QUickly Gabe take this!" The Mach then gave him a wipway that he took away the armor with. "Not bad enough kid!" wARF LAUGH AS HE TURNED INTO A BOLDTHIRSter! Tarkus said "I can help here" So he shoot blodd's eyes so Gabe can smosh his foots. When he did, blotdirster died and was dead.

Then Curys come bach and said "It's horrible nus! The emperor hats ben kidnapped by the chaos!" "You did domething you stupid fucking elfdar!" Tarkus agnried. "No it was the space chaos marines they lifted a note." Marsia said defendedly and it was a not in Eliphass handriting.

Dire Space Warines,

I Half the emper and if you try to save his I willl kill him so donut even try.

Love,

Eoliphas the incarcerator.

"We got to go now~!" Cyrus danged and Gabe and Mahca and Maris said. "no I dont trist elf" Tarkus said but they took hin to cookie anyway. They Opened an open in a the wharp were the bad gay were.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAP FOR: FOUR THE IMPEROR

-Everyone wet to the warp and it was a bad palace. It was like the city, but on fire mad outof water and it is boroken. Instead if the spave marine there are chaos who do bad tings to people ther like puncing them in th vagena, steeling money, and poping in the strets. "Will fing emperor fery fast!" Cyrus said worry. They tied to lock into a grabage can, but tehn ward and THE Snarfs comed back again! "Hahahah Im not dead yet Becuse of demon! Nowdie." Wart towed a big trukk at them, and it hit Gabe but he is stonk so he scould stop it. "Ouff" He said hurt. Tarkus tried to gun, but ward armor is so strongit just shooted them away. Then ward shopped a neckron misle and it blew up and everybody "AAAAHHH!" "YES THEY ARE DED!" But they were a iie because they want not a dead. "Fuck." Ward cry and then Cyrus bobmed ward with explosions. After that Warf tried to use the orbal boobardment But Marisa stoped him by heckling a commuter and signaling the transvestite. "NOOO I LOSE!" Ward wined and he died again.

Then the Empror wasp there and he waked up and daid "Thank you space marines and mAcha and Marisa too for safing me from the worp." "aW SHUCKLS emps you helped too." Gane said bushing. "No I didn't it was you power because you beleaf in your self." The emberor says inspiration. BUT THEN EPONA THE INCINERATOR NETTED THE SPAVE MARTINS UNDER A DIVVER NET! "Emperor we fight now!" Eliphars yelled as she chainsaw his weapons into a chainsaw shotting bolber. "OK" The emperor daid if karate ninja posse. Eliphas shoots but Emperor does it punch chainsaws and gained sawfistas power and he cut eliphos head off with sawblade hands. "Ill return!" Eliphas sais and he melted the ground. "Wow your cool emperor" everymarine even Macha and Marisa said. "Aww chucks you saved me first." Wemperor tol. "NO, you save us every day emperor." Gabe said to him. Tarkus looked Marisa and tell her "hey elfs arent as bat as I said? Want to be a bald ravens, kid?" Marisa similied and said "Cool! Thanks tarkus youre the best!" Everyone laughers and goes bat to the plantet Arelia to half a party. Then the story overed.

THE EMD

O.S:Ithink Macha is a cute and she will be story more oftet.


End file.
